Today I want to talk to you about awareness. The theme of today is so important for your life. Awareness is the key to freedom. You want some freedom, and you’ve been looking for it in all the places you’ve been traveling, maybe all around the world, you’re always doing what you want to do. Nobody can tell you what to do. You earn lots of money, you earn your way. That’s you, you are different. You live things differently. What makes freedom really real is when you feel it from inside. It’s not going to be what you do in this world that is going to make you free. It’s the sensation that you have in yourself, knowing in yourself that you are free. And why is awareness the key to freedom? Well, awareness is the first step towards change. Indeed, I repeated over and over again throughout my life the same kind of patterns in relationships with men, and I never understood why that was the case. Several years ago, after deep spiritual explorations, of myself, my life and my beliefs and my conditioning – I kept still being in the same pattern even after having had all these awakenings and feeling so excited by life and happy and joyful. There was a point where I again started to live the same kind of things, the same kind of relationship again that I was living before and not feeling happy and fulfilled and I was wondering why is that the case? Several years ago, I actually had meditation and while I was talking right after with someone, I had a memory from the past that I was abused sexually as a child, I was abused in a church. And I felt the terror that I was feeling back then. And it was awful for sure. I had several memories of several sexual abuse experiences in my life, that my mind my brain had completely blocked, which is quite normal because the brain functions a little bit like an electrical system. If there’s too much tension coming through the cables, the electrical system will pull out this defense system and so the brain functions in the same way. If it’s too much, too overwhelmed, and the child or the person cannot take it, what the brain will do is block that memory. It will block whatever is going on. And so you don’t know what’s going on. But it’s there in your subconscious mind. So you are not totally free, you think you are free but you repeat over and over again the same patterns because they are there in your subconscious.
So I’m telling you that because when that memory came up, it was for sure, not fun and not nice to face that. But at the same time, I started realizing ‘Oh, that’s why I’m living everything that I’m living over and over again.’ And finally I understood why I was the way I was – why I was repeating the same kind of relationship over and over again. And I now had a possibility to change something. I had a possibility to heal myself – to actually really look at that in a very deep way and do things differently. To be able to face the trauma to get help or also to actually listen to myself in a different way, because now I knew what was going on. So it was a different experience. I could see why I was repeating, I understood why I was attracted to these kinds of guys. And I understood plenty of my experiences throughout life, and even my sexuality and the way I was in my sexuality and how I lived it throughout this whole life. And it’s been amazing actually to see that because it really, really changed everything for me. It’s been a journey of several years, not that it just happened one moment and then it was over.
Those deep, profound memories didn’t come back all at the same time. The first one came back after the death of my son when I was going through a therapist. One was very powerful and came back maybe four or five years ago. And the last one came back one year ago. Again when I was in a relationship living deep stuff and it came up again. So it’s very important to understand that all these things that we’ve been living throughout our life, that we were living in the past, have an impact on us. The conditioning, the family we live in, the family we’ve been brought up in, the dedication we received, the belief of our parents, the circumstance we lived in – all that has an impact on us later.
We have the choice for sure to change it.
As long as we are not aware of what’s going on in our subconscious mind, it’s really difficult to change that.
So, today that’s really where I want to bring your attention. I want to bring your attention to the fact that awareness will change your life. That if you stay in a maze, or if you keep not wanting to look at something, if you keep thinking that you are already free and you don’t need anything because you’re free to do everything…because you have the money. You have your child, you have a husband that’s amazing or wife that’s amazing, and you have the relationship that you want and all of it. But somewhere inside you feel unfulfilled. It’s still somewhere. You’re not free. You’re not free inside, you’re not free. Why? Because maybe your unconscious beliefs are running the show. Maybe the life you have today, maybe it’s not completely you, maybe it’s part of what your parents wanted for you. Therefore you did it because that was the way to be loved.
So it’s really important because I’m sharing a story of trauma, but it’s about everything, the way I eat, for example. The way I ate my whole life was what I learned that my relationship was food was because my mother was a certain way with me. And all of that, has a consequence and an impact on who we are and what we do. So we can go throughout life thinking that we are completely free because we have things that make us feel free. We live a life that makes us feel free. But what about inside? What about inside of you? And that’s where I want to bring your attention. That’s when you start to become aware of your subconscious mind. That is the first step for change.
When I coach someone, or when someone comes to my workshop or my training, I always tell people when they have stuff coming up, I cheer them on. And I cheer myself on when I have something that I’m seeing in myself that might not be comfortable. Yes, I will know and understand another part of myself and discover something new about me. I’m going to grow. And I’m going to be able to make some changes here to live the life I want to live to the level I want to live – to be even more of myself. And isn’t being more of yourself something that you all want? Don’t you think that being more of yourself will mean more fulfillment? Will that mean more love, more passion, more connection? Yes. So that’s what it is all about. Every time that you live a difficult event, I want you to start to think: What is this even teaching me about me that I don’t know yet? What is this showing me that I didn’t know was there in me? That now that I see it, I can be freer? I can understand more of myself, more of the way I function in life, and be freer.
So that’s really what it is all about. It’s about you being completely you and being free. And awareness will bring you there. Once you are aware of something, you have a choice. As long as you’re not aware, you don’t have a choice. You think you have a choice about something but you repeat the past. You repeat your conditioning, and in that, you’re not free. Because you might want something different than what you are doing. You might think that that’s what you do, but actually what you want is something so much more of yourself. If everything that has ever come up, every difficulty that you meet,every event that is not comfortable, every event that might even be traumatic, or where you suffer or you’re hurt…What if that was the opportunity for you to meet something new, to discover yourself in a way that you don’t know yet… but will set you free and will give you the life, the love, the relationship, the passion, and the amazement, the fulfillment, the meaning that you’ve always been looking for?
So I leave you with that. What if that was the case? And I challenge you now, to really start to change the way you look at any emotion that’s coming up, any situation and any event that’s not comfortable or difficult to live and to start to see it differently. You will see your life will change but also the love that you have for yourself will change. You will stop thinking that there’s something wrong with you, or that there’s something wrong with things that are happening, and you will start to live something different – you will start to make a difference by being even more yourself. I hope this was super helpful for you. Please leave me comments, ask questions if you have them on askarmelle.com. I’ll be happy to answer any question that you have, or bring up a topic and I’ll be happy to speak about that. I look forward to being with you again, and I wish you an absolutely fabulous time.