Today, I want to ask you a question: Are you looking for a magic wand? What do I mean by that? Well, you know, we always look for something outside of ourselves, that’s going to just change you. We look for something that’s just going to be instantaneous, like a magic wand, a magic pill, the thing that’s going to just change you in one instant – and I totally understand why we do that. We do this because sometimes we hurt so much. We feel like shit, we don’t know how to be. We feel like there’s something so wrong with us. We don’t know how to be with others. We don’t know how to relate. We don’t know how to live the life we want. We feel like it’s never going to be for us, that we are never going to get there. So sometimes, indeed, we can be in a place where it feels very, very uncomfortable to be and therefore we just start thinking… ‘well, if there was just one thing that could change everything, I would give everything I have for that.’ In a way, I have to disappoint you a little because I want to say that there isn’t a magic thing, there isn’t a miracle pill, something that in one moment is going to change absolutely everything and you never going to feel that way again, you are never going to be the same…
It’s actually a process. What I want you to know is that choice is the greatest power there is.
So there isn’t a magic thing – something outside of you – that’s going to change you completely, but you have the possibility to make a new choice, in each and every moment, and to absolutely change everything.
So if you think that a person, a teaching, a book, a seminar, anything is going to be that thing, it is just not true. It’s crazy for me to say that because that’s what I do, and it’s what I’m giving you, you know giving talks, seminars and writing books. So it might seem crazy that I would be the one actually destroying that idea. But it isn’t true, that one thing outside of you isn’t what makes the difference, YOU choose to make the change for yourself.
It’s very important to realize that no one can ever give you what you don’t give to yourself. It’s important that you realize that you could spend your whole life going from seminar to seminar, from training to training, from therapist to therapist, from healers, to shamans, to magic people, and still feel like there’s nothing that you can do — and still feel like there’s something so wrong with you — and still feel that same discomfort.
Why is it if you don’t give that to yourself, nobody can give it to you? For me, that was a very insightful thing to realize that nobody can give me what I don’t give to myself. Which means that if you go to a seminar, be open to receive something different. Don’t think you already know everything. Don’t go there with the attitude of actually criticizing the person. You go and listen to and learn from them because that’s actually how you can be open for the magic to happen. That’s what I mean by ‘there isn’t a magic wand’ – if you make the choice that you want to change, that you want your life to be different, it is going to require you to take action, to think differently, to behave differently, to be a different person. You cannot stay the same person and have a different life. What we often want is our whole life to change, but we don’t want to change – or we want to be different, but we don’t want our life to change. And that’s not possible. Change will inevitably influence everything around you and in you. So if you want a different life, you’re going to have to be a different person. Because if you don’t make that change, you are only going to create more of the same. It’s very important to realize that you have the ability to change things in your life.
You have that power. Everyone has that power, no matter what life they lived before, no matter how traumatic it was before, we all have this power.
So what would make the difference? It would be you, you are going to make the difference. You being open to something new is the difference. You being open to learning something that you don’t know is the difference. You being humble enough to realize that even though you did your best you might have not done what was the best for you. And when you start to think, is there a new way to look at this? Is there a new way to live? Is there a new way to think? Then there is an opportunity for change. And nobody, no therapy, not even the best one in the world will actually be able to give that to you. If you’re not open for change, open for not knowing, open to be told, open to be shown a different way of looking at life… So, I would say that there isn’t a magic wand but that the magic wand is you choosing to change actively.
But if you think the magic wand is coming to a seminar and you will be changed by the person doing the seminar, because they have such great power and they have such a great life and they could change for themselves… So why not you? And because they’re so great and doing coaching, you think that they’re going to change you. That is not possible. So I want you to know the first step of change and this path of transformation is most of the time to look for someone who’s going to help you. It is part of it. So don’t make it wrong. I’m not making it wrong at all. I’ve been doing that for so long. The action of you going to someone, whether it’s a therapist or coach or or you know, seminar or a book or anything is actually already a reflection of you wanting to change – then the attitude with which you will be there and how open you will be will make the difference.
The magic wand will never be the person or the book or the therapy – it would be you choosing to live a certain way and to be open to receive the message and to be told in a way that’s going to be very supportive to you realizing that the power of change is not the agent outside of you. But the agent of change is you. It’s your power of choice.
That is the magic wand.
So the more you go, the more you go to seminars and trainings and workshops or therapy, not thinking that the person will change you, but realizing that they are actually working hand in hand with you. But if you go, and you think they’re gonna do everything and you just have to be there and soak it up, that’s not going to happen. You have to take action, you have to choose, that’s your power. It’s your life. And you have to take it. Otherwise you just create more of the same thing that already puts you right where you are… unhappy, and maybe even suffering or unfulfilled. So I really encourage you to take that on. And to really see any person or book that you’re going to go towards as a friend, a guide, but not the magical wand. You are the magical wand you’ve always been looking for.
So when will you start to be the magician?
You have that wisdom inside of you. Ask yourself, what is my next step? How can I change that thing that’s so painful in me or the lack of meaning in my life? What can I do now to change it? What is the first step I can do now to change it? And how open can I be when I go somewhere, so that I receive everything that’s going to help me and support me on my journey? That will make all the difference. You can see it’s going to change everything. Ask questions and you will always receive an answer. I hope this was super helpful for you. And I look forward to being with you again next week. Have an amazing time. And just see the magic that is everywhere when you become the magician.